Top Cat

Clayton Blizzard's career began with Jedi Nun, a band formed with school friends, which broke up when guitarist Matthew Hornblower moved on to a lucrative career as a solicitor. "Blizzard got a bit too much at the end" said the twenty-five year-old. "His politics got in the way of an advertising deal I had set up."
Drummer Matty Balloon also fell foul of the extreme politics of his band mate.
"I just happened to say one day that, I'm not racist or anything, but….let's just bomb them all and let God sort them out. He went absolutely mental."

More recently, attempting to spread his dangerous ideology abroad, Blizzard was spotted playing at small venues in New York, where locals described him as a "crazy son of a bitch", before adding "what's'a matter widju?" and pushing past in a rather brusque manner.

Mr. Blizzard has also appeared at Bristol's Ashton Court Festival, where he appalled families in the audience with a clean-mouthed outburst and an unrevealing costume.

After a brief spell as guitarist for Bristol band The Bears, Blizzard began his solo career, immediately attracting attention for all the wrong reasons, when he was arrested in London's West End after an argument with Police. According to one eye witness, Blizzard "accused the coppers of having no free will", and was later arrested for resisting arrest.


Clayton Blizzard was unavailable for comment, but his manager Parias Louche said "I can say without any hyperbole and without resorting to tabloid-style clichéd superlatives that Clayton Blizzard is the best rapper, and the best lyricist the world has ever seen and is dead nice and gets all the girls and that."

  Are Go

A spokesman for the Home Office described official reaction to Clayton Blizzard's provocative antics. "There are currently no plans to deport UK nationals on the whim of tabloid columnists, but we're ruling nothing out at this stage."

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